Nothing beats jumping to a conclusion that turns out to be 100% correct and getting everyone in your vicinity all fired up about this injustice laid upon you. At least I am assuming, as I have never quite experienced it. No, I am the person who is a veritable expert at jumping quickly and efficiently to the wrong conclusion. That paper I was meant to mail that is still sitting at the bottom of my pile of papers was already sent, so stop asking. The shirt I never took out of my gym bag was obviously stuffed somewhere by someone and they need to find it...now. The car that's parked impressively close to my door due to my apparent inability to park between the lines when in a hurry, is clearly the fault of some fool who can not manage to choose a spot with enough room for his oversized truck. How is it possible that my first thoughts are almost always the wrong thought? Furthermore, how does the knowledge of that not keep me from fuming at the word written in all caps clearly indicating that the writer is trying to say I'm a MORON who is incapable of reading key words that are not capitalized. Red and capitalized...even worse. WORSE. I am starting to feel like there is some sort of life lesson here. Good thing I am too busy fuming at whoever left the full glass on the counter in the bathroom that I just knocked over (that looks vaguely familiar to the glass of tea I "misplaced" last night) to really dwell on it.
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