DWTS

I have recently developed a new addiction to add to the ranks of diet coke and music on iTunes.  Dancing with the Stars!  I really don't know how it happened but I remember a time when I didn't watch DWTS and then my next memory involves me watching the show and then re-watching all the dances on YouTube over and over...and over.  Here is where I should stop sharing and yet I continue on.  I will watch the videos and look only at the boy and then re-watch only the girl.  I look at their reactions during the judging and their interaction with their partner.  Then I look at past seasons to compare their reactions to their other partners.  I watch the backstage confessionals that weren't aired.  I even saved one of their twitter accounts as a favorite on Internet Explorer.  And I HATE twitter.  It is a problem and with the close of the season, the reality of the problem is quickly setting in.  No more new information, no additional dances to analyze again and again.  I so badly want to be on that show but as John politely informed me, I am missing the key ingredient...being a star.  So, now we have a new goal, friends and family.  I need to come up with a way to become a B level star so that I can get on that show.  I am open to ideas.  I wouldn't say that I have a stand out talent in any of the so called "performance" arts and I really don't care for attention or entertaining others, so that leaves scandal or reality tv.  Survivor is out because I don't wear scarfs as tube tops.  The Bachelor is out because John couldn't see the value in making it to the final round only to be found out as having a husband.  Something about all the making out.  That leaves The Amazing Race which seems doable but would require the effort of getting a passport, which seems like a hassle, and Big Brother, which I have never watched, but seems to runs some claustrophobic potential.  Wonder how leave of absences for Reality Television works.  Especially when only done to get on a show that would require a further leave of absence.  So what I need is a way to have the cameras come to me.  A documentary?  With all the cable channels, I'm sure there is some space for a series about a 30 year old girl who works a normal treasury job with two kids, a husband and an ill-advised idea of going back to school.  I mean, who wouldn't watch that?  We could start a campaign.  Make Laura famous by word of mouth.  Each person tells 10 people who in turn tell 10 people, ad infinitum.  I despise forwards but since I cannot vanquish the complete foolishness inherent in them, let's use it to my advantage.  Tell them some magic fairy will grant them their wish if they promise to unquestionably view me as a celebrity, not too famous but just famous enough.  If Paris Hilton can be famous without a skill, why can't I?  All it takes is people believing it to be so.  And getting arrested for cocaine...

In the meantime, here are some of my favorite dances of the season.  I can feel the void in my life already.